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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/30699
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/30699
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

### Get your story straight!

> My goal is to introduce the reader to a ‘wonderful’ fantasy world with an **_underdog main character_** full of panache…

How does a wonderful fantasy world produce an underdog, exactly? The world is seldom wonderful for underdogs, because by definition they are dominated by alpha dogs and treated like second class citizens. Economically, socially, and romantically.

### Ramifications.

I harp on this a lot in these answers, but it applies here. If the world is a worm infested cake with a nice layer of icing, then there must be some ramifications of that; at some point the worms break through, or we see them moving under the icing.

Those are scenes you need to show. People that commit suicide in this paradise. People with perfect jobs, houses, cars, clothes and kids, sobbing uncontrollably in the bathroom stall.

Senior co-workers that should love their life and hate it so much they attempt suicide.

The POV character can encounter such people but not understand their plight, perhaps, or accepts things as they are because nothing has really affected **them** yet.

You don't need a lot of these, but you do need something very early in the setup of your story. Not page 1, but early enough to give the reader a clue that there is a hidden snake in Paradise.

Original score: 1