Communities

Writing
Writing
Codidact Meta
Codidact Meta
The Great Outdoors
The Great Outdoors
Photography & Video
Photography & Video
Scientific Speculation
Scientific Speculation
Cooking
Cooking
Electrical Engineering
Electrical Engineering
Judaism
Judaism
Languages & Linguistics
Languages & Linguistics
Software Development
Software Development
Mathematics
Mathematics
Christianity
Christianity
Code Golf
Code Golf
Music
Music
Physics
Physics
Linux Systems
Linux Systems
Power Users
Power Users
Tabletop RPGs
Tabletop RPGs
Community Proposals
Community Proposals
tag:snake search within a tag
answers:0 unanswered questions
user:xxxx search by author id
score:0.5 posts with 0.5+ score
"snake oil" exact phrase
votes:4 posts with 4+ votes
created:<1w created < 1 week ago
post_type:xxxx type of post
Search help
Notifications
Mark all as read See all your notifications »
Q&A

Is it wrong to use the same word multiple times within a few sentences?

+1
−0

I have been told before that when describing things in writing I should use different words, and not to repeat myself so it doesn't become redundant, but sometimes there are no other words that work as well. For example, I've written things before like this:

The trio had come to a halt in front of a large, sleek building. It appeared to be three stories tall with a bridge lined with windows stretching between the two sections. The walls were smooth and dark. The commander led them through a pair of sleek doors and up the stairs to a room with about a half a dozen people in it.

And have been told that I needed to replace sleek with something else.

Now I don't disagree with that, but is this true in every case? Is it wrong to use the same word multiple times within a few sentences?

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.
Why should this post be closed?

This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/31067. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

0 comment threads

4 answers

+1
−0

In situations like this, my instinct is always to completely rephrase the entire section (whether that's just a sentence, a paragraph or even more).

If you want to emphasize that both the building and the doors to it were sleek, you could write something like:

The building loomed large in front of the trio. Everything about it was sleek: the black doors, the smooth walls, even the commander that came to greet them. The bridge that connected the two sections was particularly impressive. They were led up the stairs to a room containing half a dozen people.

There are dozens of different ways to say the same sentence, so if the one I'm using doesn't sound right, I will go back to formula and try to find a different way to phrase exactly what it is I'm trying to communicate to the reader.

This is usually easier in editing. When you return to a section after some time has passed and read it for the first time, you will usually be able to tell if it doesn't sound quite right.

For a first draft, using the same word to describe everything so that you know what it is that you're trying to say is fine. Getting caught up with something as minor as repeating a word within a certain body of writing will cause you to get hung up on looking for synonyms, and you will become hyper-aware of repeating yourself.

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31079. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

0 comment threads

+0
−0

I think it weakens the prose, unless it is clearly intentional ("he had a big head, big teeth, a big nose, a big attitude.")

In your example, "sleek" is not a very precise description, to me. The very fact that you apply it to both a building and a door suggests that lack of precision. You can actually replace both of them with actual description of what makes them "sleek".

Those descriptions would likely be different for a building and a door. It isn't always about word choice, but sometimes about the choice to use one word instead of several, when several would convey the idea better. What makes doors "sleek"? Are they smooth and featureless? Is their fit so precise that they join to the building and each other seamlessly? Do they have hidden hinges so they almost appear to not be doors at all? Are they rounded instead of rectangular? Do they have recessed handles?

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

0 comment threads

+0
−0

You can use the right word repeatedly in the course of several sentences as long as it is the right word in each case. There was a writing school fashion a while back for using as much vocabulary as possible, but this is generally regarded as bad technique today. (In some ways it gets confused with a schoolroom exercise in which children are encouraged to use new words as a way to expand their vocabulary. But what works for a 8 year old is not work for grownups.

However, the problem you have here is that "sleek" is the wrong word both times you use it. Using the wrong word twice in a row, of course, calls particular attention to it.

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

0 comment threads

+0
−0

Not necessarily

It completely depends on your writing style and on how often you are doing this. There is nothing inherently wrong in using the same word twice in a couple of sentences. Sometimes it can even be a good thing to emphasize something that is important.

Just try not to use the same word in every sentence. If you use the same word it becomes repetitive. The same word can become boring. It shows that you can only use the same word in this context. You would have to find a new way so that you are not using the same word all the time. Try to vary instead of using the same word.

Now, that was deliberately too much. As long as it's not as extreme as my example above there is nothing wrong and I disagree that you have to find another word in your example. Maybe it's necessary, maybe not - I would have to read a couple pages to say more about your writing style and whether you need to replace the word.

What you have been told is a rule of thumb and you should treat it as such. If you can you should use different words - but don't get caught up in this stuff and focus on telling your story. You can worry about such small details later when copy-editing your text.

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

0 comment threads

Sign up to answer this question »