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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31152
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31152
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

It is the lure of the fine phrase. We all want to create fine phrases, phrases that are a thing of beauty in their own right. But the lure of the fine phrase can often lead us into the verbose and the excessively ornate.

There is nothing wrong with fine phrases. We should pull off a fine phrase whenever we can. But a fine phrase is not created by dressing an idea in finery. It is created by expressing an idea with startling economy. Most of the finest fine phrases don't contain a lot of obscure words (though the obscure word might be the most economical word in some cases), rather they put a set of ordinary words together in just the right way to capture the fullness of an idea.

Capturing the fullness of an idea is key here. It is easy to cut words out of sentence in the name of economy but often when we do that we are also cutting nuance and detail, so that we are doing less with less, rather than doing more or the same with less, which is true economy. A truly fine phrase does more with less.

So, the exercise is, can I say more with less. For any sentence you feel is too ornate or too verbose, ask yourself if you can say the same thing (all of it or more) with fewer simpler words. Often the truly fine phrase emerges from our attempts to prune back the excesses of our first attempt at a fine phrase. Sometimes an ordinary phrase is all the occasions demand. Fine phrases should say something pointed or poignant or remarkable. We don't need fine ways of saying mundane things.

Original score: 13