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Q&A How to write dialogue where only some of the words matter?

Why not combine the two methods... "You have to get to the counter behind the yellow stripe. They served Jake and me there." He smiled, and for a moment Laura almost lost track of his real messag...

posted 7y ago by Henry Taylor‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T07:15:52Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31166
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Henry Taylor‭ · 2019-12-08T07:15:52Z (almost 5 years ago)
Why not combine the two methods...

"You have to get to the counter behind the yellow stripe. They served Jake and me there." He smiled, and for a moment Laura almost lost track of his real message, hidden within his words and the rhythm of the pressure in their clasped hands. "They're great at cooking, I swear the meals have been looking almost like real meat for a while now. What do you think?"

She paused as if considering his invitation, while frantically assembling the spoken words which he had stressed through his grip. "Get... behind... me. They're... looking... for... you."

Smiling deeply, she nodded her acceptance then began to move casually yet quickly as his secret message had prescribed.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2017-11-01T00:34:53Z (about 7 years ago)
Original score: 6