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Q&A When writing down a huge amounts of detail is inevitable

This is a great example of when to show instead of telling. Infodumping is the act of telling a lot of information in a short amount of time. Sometimes it works, but usually, as you have noted, the...

posted 7y ago by Thomas Myron‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-12T17:49:03Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31557
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T07:22:30Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/31557
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T07:22:30Z (almost 5 years ago)
This is a great example of when to show instead of telling. Infodumping is the act of telling a lot of information in a short amount of time. Sometimes it works, but usually, as you have noted, the reader simply falls asleep.

Amadeus has provided a great method with telling the information through dialogue and conflict. That's definitely better, but it is still technically telling. The conflict simply provides some tension to prevent the reader from falling asleep. He still has to wade through all of the information.

Instead of trying to tell this information, you should show it. Consider, for example, the second half of the first chapter of Harry Potter. Rowling had to alert the reader right away that this was a world with wizards and magic. She could have told us that. She could have opened with an infodump about how wizards have lived in hiding all this time; she could have even explained Harry's backstory. But she didn't. She just _showed_ us some wizards and some magic.

The same principle can easily apply here. Remove the dialogue completely, and skip forward to the action:

> Frank hefted the gun, and took a deep breath. He couldn't miss. The weapon was the pinnacle of DEW technology, but it still leaked radiation deadly to anyone else. Anyone but him.
> 
> Frank stood up behind the rock and swiveled on the spot, turning to face the warbots. He sighted along the gun, aiming for where he knew the electronics were. They were encased in armor, but that didn't matter to the beam of Hard X-Rays the gun could fire.
> 
> He pulled the trigger. The X-rays were invisible of course, but he saw the warbot stagger, and lurch sideways as the weapon did its work. Frank could feel a tingling on his skin and knew the radiation from the gun was washing over him. But it didn't matter. Out of their merry little club of epic-fail GMOs, he was the only one who happened to be radiotrophic.

Using this method, you remove the infodump completely, and not only convey all the information you need, but show it as true, rather than simply asking the reader to believe you. Inserting the information into the action like this also serves to cut down on mindless _'action-telling'_ (just relating what happened).

Best of luck in your endeavors!

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2017-11-20T18:55:50Z (about 7 years ago)
Original score: 2