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Q&A How to "Show" and not "Tell" for nervousness?

Showing instead of telling means showing the consequences of a character state (anger, anxiety, love, worry, hate, etc) instead of labeling the state. "Steam coming out of her ears" is a cliché, o...

posted 7y ago by Amadeus‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-19T22:13:15Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32045
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T07:32:10Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32045
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T07:32:10Z (almost 5 years ago)
Showing instead of telling means showing the **consequences** of a character state (anger, anxiety, love, worry, hate, etc) instead of **labeling** the state.

"Steam coming out of her ears" is a cliché, originally intended as the consequences of a metaphor for the **heat** of anger, itself not necessarily literal, but a reference to blood flushing causing a redder appearance.

What do people that are nervous do? They may shake, stumble over words, be clumsy and spill something. They are often anxious about the outcome of what they are doing, like blowing a job interview. They may make inappropriate comments or jokes trying to be funny and alleviate the tension that only they really feel. The tension and worry they DO feel may be distracting and cause them to make mental mistakes: Call their interviewer by the wrong name, for example, or blank on a rehearsed reply to an interview question.

Or, if they are making a presentation, get flummoxed by an unfamiliar projector or piece of computer equipment, or a clicker for the slide projector that doesn't seem to work as they expected, or speaking too closely into a microphone and startling themselves with the result. They may blush at their mistakes. They may sweat.

There are many possible consequences to being nervous, pick a few and use them. Or use the general idea (distraction and worry) and come up with an original ramification for it. A consequence, an implication. Describe something visible or tangible.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2017-12-17T17:39:45Z (almost 7 years ago)
Original score: 2