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Q&A

How can I make dialog sound like that of a six year old?

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I'm a contemporary romance author writing a romance Christmas book. The hero in my story has a six year old girl. There are lots of conversations with the six year old, but when I read my story back to me, she sounds like an adult. Can someone offer some suggestions to how to write dialog that sounds like a six year old talking? Are there books available to help in this? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

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Without being pejorative, six year olds are very shallow and (if not abused) very trusting, they believe what adults tell them. Unless they are rationally precocious, most believe (or would be happy to believe) in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Stork that brings babies, and unicorns and dragons and all sorts of Magic -- but do not take those as exceptions, to a six year old everything is basically magic! They do not truly understand how anything works, so if you tell them their iPhone and TV and car work by magic, they will believe that. They really don't have the teaching or life experience to separate fantasy from reality, or any deep level of understanding.

This shallowness extends into their humor: We humans only find something humorous if it breaks an internalized norm. So as an adult you can understand a sexual joke, or a political joke, or a work place joke, or a joke related to dumb investments or being conned.

About the only rules six year olds have internalized are related to bathroom activities and the most basic polite behavior; so they find fart jokes funny, or saying "poop" in front of company, or purposely chewing with their mouth open, or dribbling spit. Breaking taboos is funny. They don't get innuendo or implications, they don't leap to the "If ... Then ..." consequences of what somebody says.

Or I should say "Most" for six, since some as young as four and five are beginning to question the veracity of whether Santa Claus is real. In first grade, most of them cannot even subtract yet. Six year old girls believe they can be a princess with a magical wand.

Their arguments end quickly with "terminating" claims: Why don't you use bad words? Because God will be mad at you. Why will God be mad at you? I don't know, Mommy says so, so its true.

The advice I have is to make your child's understanding shallow and without nuance or hidden meaning. They relate through fairy tales, and children's shows. When they don't understand something, they don't ask intelligent questions to improve their understanding. They change the subject, or offer solutions that are centered on their own feelings and experiences, that to an adult seem ridiculously shallow.

Are you still sad because of Uncle Allen?

Yes, sweetie, I am very sad.

Do you want to watch cartoons with me?

Because ... What makes a six year old happy? She doesn't understand other lives; so what in HER life makes her happy? She doesn't understand things like responsibility or duty, or why she has to go to school, or go to bed at nine, or eat her vegetables. Her life is filled with rules she follows to avoid punishment, lines she cannot cross (and doesn't truly comprehend why), and a handful of choices about her entertainment (what to watch, who to play with, etc) and to a lesser extent, her food choices. Her solution to the grief resulting from the loss of a sibling may not be faith in the after life or a reflection on his heroism or kindness, it may be chocolate cake.

They will have a very limited vocabulary, they will not use any but the most shallow metaphors or similes. They won't understand a "corruption that spread like cancer," because they don't understand either corruption or metastasizing cancer. (They probably know what "cheating" at a game is, but seldom more than "it is being bad," and that isn't good.)

You must put yourself in this naive, literal, shallow-but-well-meaning mind, and guard against allowing the girl any "adult" comprehension. I would not make her mispronounce adult words, or pretend she has some vague concept of something (like an extramarital affair) that is beyond her years.

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Six-year-olds would have lots and lots of energy. For example, if they're going to the ice cream shop, a kid would have her eyes wide open staring at the different flavours to choose from. And when in demand of something, they would have the lack of politeness like "I want the chocolate flavoured one with sprinkles!" and possibly if they never get what they want, then they'd start crying. If you were the one taking care of a six-year-old, then you would have to be really gentle and kind with them even if they would have the lack of kindness towards you. Scolding them to be quiet all day, telling them to clean up after themselves. Six-year-olds wouldn't be the ones sounding smart (unless your writing about a smart six-year-old) like "Pwease can I have another one?" (in that case it would be begging), they almost always beg. So in conclusion, technically six-year-olds would have lots of energy, and always wanting stuff. Hope this helps!

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Try to think of that whiny voice you told to shush up ten times a day. Usually, six year olds wouldn't have a good vocabulary, so change the words so that they sound normal, and not that smart. For example, if you would say: "Please pass the dinner rolls", that six year old would either grab it herself, or demand it: "I want the dinner rolls!"

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