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I recommend the Power Thesaurus, which is pretty comprehensive and crowd-voted (like this site). An example here is for vagina. I would say pick median word, or a word that is clear without being ...
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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32338 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32338 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I recommend the Power Thesaurus, which is pretty comprehensive and crowd-voted (like this site). An example here is for [vagina](https://www.powerthesaurus.org/vagina). I would say pick median word, or a word that is clear without being pejorative or clinical. You may also use less vague indirect terms: A penis can be referred to as an erection, for example, or a shaft. Another indirection is in the common marriage vow, they use the words "cleave only unto him", "cleaving" refers to the separation of vaginal labia [lips] by a penis; so the vow uses a verb that applies to sexual intercourse without referring to the organs involved. If that fails for you, then without research of my own, I am told by my sister that modern romance novels get pretty explicit in the sex department. Although my characters frequently have sex, I don't write explicit sex scenes. I turn the camera away before genitalia appear. However, if I felt an explicit scene was necessary, say if a main character was raped, date-raped or being sexually harassed or coerced at work, THEN I would probably look online or in a used bookstore for examples of what is acceptable in the modern romance department.