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As long as the distinction is clear from the inner voice of each character this is perfectly fine. Every character needs to feel different by using different voices, because otherwise it feels like...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-12T23:01:19Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32448 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T07:39:14Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32448 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
As long as the distinction is clear from the inner voice of each character this is perfectly fine. Every character needs to feel different by using different [voices](https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32352/23159), because otherwise it feels like the author just switched out the names. Think about what each character's focus is. Is one of them obsessed with shoes because he thinks it shows important characteristics about other people? Is one of them obsessed with interpreting the gestures of people around him? Is one of them always afraid of what might happen next or what others are thinking? _I am sure this is the right way. My gut is never wrong!_ _Let's just hope Joe knows what he's doing, I ain't gonna stick around anymore if he gets us into trouble again like with his grandma' a week ago..._ _The boys are awefully quite, though Joe seems confident as always. I hope we are on track, I don't like the darkness and it should be getting dark in about half an hour if my watch is correct. It won't be safe around these parts once the predators wake up._ _Was there something? I think I heard something. But the others are talking. And smiling. Why are they smiling? This is not funny! I am afraid. I want to go home. I need to go home! This is crazy. I should have never come here! It's all Joe's fault for draggin me into this mess! As always... I just can' say 'No' to that guy. God damn it, how I hate that I can never say 'No'. There! Again! Something is definitely behind us._
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-01-10T12:44:29Z (almost 7 years ago)
Original score: 0