How can you explain Scenery?

Describing scenery is much like describing people. IRL we never (effectively never) go through a long litany of what we see, not scenery, people, buildings or cars or interiors.

Instead we get a general impression (one or two sentences) and then focus on one or two details that are the "most important" or carry the whole feeling (another one or two sentences).

Here is an excerpt from Harry Potter, the Wand Shop from first sight:

The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read 'Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. A single wand lay on faded purple cushion in the dusty window.
[so far six details in three sentences: 'narrow and shabby', 'Peeling gold letters', '382 B.C.' (indirect age), 'single wand', 'faded purple cushion', 'dusty window']
A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny space, empty except for a single, spindly chair that Hagrid sat on to wait. Harry felt strangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of new questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled nearly right up to the ceiling.
[5 more details in three more sentences: 'tinkling bell', 'tiny space', 'spindly chair', 'strict library', 'thousands of narrow boxes'.]

Now I don't think Rowling is the best author, but all the better: I use her first book as an example of what an unknown can publish. Notice how individually these details seem insufficient, but together they are what Harry notices (or anybody should notice) and convey the atmosphere and feeling of being in the Wand shop. They go from general (size and shape) to specific details. She appeals to more than sight (the sound of the bell) and adds an emotional reaction.

Scenery is done the same way. I think when you say "without getting too much into it", you mean you don't want to write pages on it. You do that this way: The big picture, then nothing in the middle, pick tiny details that would stick in your characters mind, I like to think of it as what she will remember about this scenery a week later. The one oddly fat mountain, the plain of grass that looks like a green ocean, the one moose that seemed to stand as king of it all. One or two sounds (not all of them).

Try to make an emotional connection, such as an unexpected emotional metaphor or memory (Harry's 'strict library'). Perhaps a feeling of trespass into a virgin realm. Perhaps the vastness and majesty of it reminds her how easy it is for her to believe in God when she is free and outdoors, and how difficult it is to believe when she is confined to her usual basement classrooms with her desperate students trying to find a new life.

posted almost 7 years ago

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Amadeus‭

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