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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32786
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32786
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

This does not really answer the question, but solves the dilemma in the interest of producing better writing.

Reading earlier comments and your replies, you seem intent on an info dump and forcing your YA readers to learn your "scientific" system with your own terminology, as if they need to use it to understand it. I'd wager they've had their fill and more of learning chemistry, math, physics, and more, and they will skip past this info dump and get to the good stuff.

Take a lesson from a woman that has earned about a billion dollars writing magic for YA: JK Rowling. Her system is largely unexplained, a bunch of Latin sounding words, and basically just another language to learn.

Which seems to be your system. Do not try to "stop your readers from getting confused". They aren't going to get confused because they are not really paying attention, they won't **_care_** how your system works or if they understand the rules correctly.

From the YA reader's POV, there will never be a test! They will skip the boring infodump, and wait for characters to say something in your strange language and see what happens. Oh look, magma! Oh look, the dog turned into a polka dot dragon!

They won't be confused, they can retain the information that magic works differently in the two worlds, and your MC is from a different world and has to learn a new magic. That is truly all you need. Including ALL the information about how the system works is only going to make your story look amateurish, and will drag it down, and cause both publishers and readers to lose interest.

What you have done is not terrible, but it is **background** information and "explaining it verbally" was probably unnecessary, it should not be in the story. I suspect you are not reading it with the eyes of a reader, that is looking for emotional conflict and struggles with life consequences. (Those don't typically include struggling with a textbook.)

As background information, it can keep the story consistent, and by osmosis, the reader may gather that there is some logic behind it, which will increase the verisimilitude. IMO trying to cram this into your book is a dire mistake, if you want to get published. Infodumps do not contain the kind of conflict and tension that keeps readers turning pages, and that is a major flaw. Publishers are not self-sacrificing and eager to help new writers, they have an infinite supply of submissions and when they find a big flaw, they seldom waste any more time, they put it on the reject pile and start the next one.

Original score: 9