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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32986
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32986
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I doubt the issue is whether the desires are stated explicitly or implied by actions. I suspect the issue has more to do with story shape. If we use the hero's journey model, and novel opens in the normal world, where we establish what the character loves and who they are. Then comes the call to action, the resisting of the call, and the crossing of the threshold -- the departure from the normal world.

The resisting of the call to action is vital in this because it reveals what the character loves, what the want, and what they are and are not willing to do to get it.

But from what you say, your character's departure from the normal world, does not come until half way through the novel. For the first half she follows her mother's path. Why? Without a call to adventure and the resistance of the call we don't have the crisis that reveals what the character loves and wants and these loves and wants are not proven by the ultimate decision to cross the threshold.

Everything works through the shape of the story. While the story does need to be competently told, individual show vs tell decisions are not going to make or break it. It is story shape that will make or break it. You want your readers to know what your character wants. You have to shape the story to show us what they want.

To be clear on this last point, this does not mean invent some incident to illustrate what they want. It means that the fundamental shape of the story has to tell us through the inciting incident, the resistance to the call, and crossing the threshold.

Original score: 6