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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32987
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/32987
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I do not think desires should be communicated directly in exposition, and only rarely in thoughts, but they **can** often be communicated somewhat directly through dialogue, especially dialogue with new characters, lovers, or colleagues that want to get to know the prominent character.

* * *

"What made you become a cop?" (my brother's murder)

* * *

"How did you end up in Seattle?" (I went to university here, I wanted to be lawyer. That didn't work out, but Seattle did.)  
"Oh. Why did you want to be a lawyer?" (I had ideals and principles, once. I realized they wouldn't survive being a lawyer, so I dropped out, to save my soul while I could.)

* * *

"How did you end up a call girl?" (I'm pretty. I'm not smart. My daughter is smart, and she is going to college, no matter what I have to do to get her there.)

* * *

WHY does your character want to follow in her mother's footsteps? I think "honor" is too facile an excuse for driving a life. What is wonderful about her mother's life that makes her want to sacrifice her own to living the same life? Or is it a lack of thought altogether, she doesn't want to plan a life, she is afraid of life, she just wants to survive it and this path is as good as any.

Answer the WHYs with something compelling, that makes a difference on a more daily basis, that requires sacrifice, or reveals character.

Original score: 2