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Mark Baker has a great answer if the simultaneous action and dialogue is a one-time thing, which I assume is the case here. But if a character has a persistent tic interwoven with their dialogue, ...
Answer
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T07:55:44Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/33244 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Adrian McCarthy
·
2019-12-08T07:55:44Z (over 4 years ago)
Mark Baker has a great answer if the simultaneous action and dialogue is a one-time thing, which I assume is the case here. But if a character has a persistent tic interwoven with their dialogue, you might need to develop a shortcut so the reader "knows" when the tic happens without explicitly writing about it. I think the _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_ screenplay by William Goldman had a good example of this. A tobacco chewing character constantly spits and then shouts "bingo!" or "dammit!" depending on whether he hit his intended target. Soon, the spitting is no longer mentioned explicitly, but there are _bingos_ and _dammits_ sprinkled throughout the dialog. They form a very efficient shorthand for indicating that the character spat again and hit or missed the target.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-02-13T22:32:33Z (about 6 years ago)
Original score: 2