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I would find this twist unsatisfying, a deus ex machina (coming out of nowhere) that invalidated the whole story (it was all just a dream...). I also think you wrote yourself into a corner! I sus...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-19T22:13:21Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/34174 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T08:15:54Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/34174 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I would find this twist unsatisfying, a deus ex machina (coming out of nowhere) that invalidated the whole story (it was all just a dream...). I also think you wrote yourself into a corner! I suspect the way to fix it is to make your female protagonist **better** at something than your male protagonist (a better engineer, for example) so he **must** go back to her, or get her to come to the new world. You say he **is capable** of returning. A twist would be that when the reader fully expects him to win, he loses, and he realizes the ONLY way he can win this battle is with the help of the woman he loves, he believes she can figure out how to do again what was originally done by accident, so he returns to her, she figures that out and also provides him the knowledge and weapons he needs, so he goes back to the planet armed and easily defeats the villain. Then you have a few pages of him coming home to her, to live happily ever after.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-03-10T19:52:00Z (almost 7 years ago)
Original score: 11