How to describe a character with changing features?
I’m writing the pilot for a Crime/Mystery/Thriller.
When we first meet the lead detective character - he is depressed about not being able to work. Not at his best, but that is about to change for him - sort of.
I want to describe that (normally) he’s a calm/confident/wise etc... So that the person reading my script will know how the detective is supposed to act when the time comes for him to shine.
Or should I not describe how he normally is until he is normal?
Thanks!
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/34740. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
2 answers
You are accessing this answer with a direct link, so it's being shown above all other answers regardless of its score. You can return to the normal view.
Do not describe his general demeanor.
I believe in The Mentalist, Patrick Jane's origin was dissheveled, unshaven, suicidally depressed and he came wanting to help capture Red John, the serial killer that, because Patrick Jane mocked Red John on TV, killed his wife and young daughter, and left them dead in the bedroom for him to find when he got home.
He was a mess. Even so, through his unique skills (cold reading), he helped solve a case right away.
Don't dilute the impact of the depression, embrace it. This is what motivates him to work, he cannot stand to not work. Show him watching TV detective shows or something, bored and nailing the outcomes, but depressed doing it. Still it is the closest he can get to working.
Your longer (series) backstory is "Why is he this way? Why is Jack all work and no play?"
When he gets a job, he is transformed, and professional. Then the audience sees this side of him, but they should keep that original "mystery" depressed guy in mind, that is what lies beneath that professional. The depression gives him depth of character; don't dilute it by saying "this isn't the real Jack." It is a side of the real Jack, it happened, and it hurt him. Hopefully you will let us know how and why someday.
0 comment threads
I think you should give him a small win too show off his best.
Maybe the detective is too depressed to do well at solving crimes, but he can still manage something small day to day. Let him solve who is stole his newspaper. Let him be so confident that when confronting his neighbor, the neighbor tries to deny it, but then confesses under the sheer evidence, and the confidence at whit it's delivered. Show him in his best doing this trivial task and then go back to moping about not having a case.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/34751. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
0 comment threads
0 comment threads