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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/34905
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/34905
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

First of all, that semi-colon is incorrect. It should be a comma. Here's why.

A semi-colon is used 1) to join two independent clauses (stand-alone sentences) which are related in content, or 2) to separate lists of items which have commas, aka the serial semi-colon.

The sentence here has _parallel grammar,_ not independent clauses.

## Parallel Grammar

> Anything powerful enough to cross the Wall usually retained enough magic to assume the shape of a soldier; or to become invisible.

This sentence is using parallel grammar. If you extended it, it would read:

> Anything powerful enough to cross the Wall usually retained enough magic to assume the shape of a soldier.   
> Anything powerful enough to cross the Wall usually retained enough magic to become invisible.

When you have two sentences with parallel grammar, you can condense them, but you do so with a comma, not a semi-colon, because you are removing critical parts of the sentence when you truncate. The condensed pieces are no longer full sentences.

> Anything powerful enough to cross the Wall usually retained enough magic to assume the shape of a soldier, or to become invisible.

(I would even have removed _to_ in that construction, so that the parallel starts at the verbs _assume_ and _become._)

## Serial Semi-Colon

You can use a semi-colon to separate list items when an "item" is a list in itself. So:

> We were offered ham, eggs, and English muffins; bacon, pancakes, and sausage; and grits, cheese, and fruit; and we drank Pepto-Bismol for a chaser.

Nix (or the editor) might have gotten confused with that list of weaponry and thought that because there was a long list, a semi-colon was necessary to attach it to the first part of the sentence. It is not.

## The Long Sentence

So fixing that semi-colon (and adding a serial comma later), we have:

> Anything powerful enough to cross the Wall usually retained enough magic to assume the shape of a soldier, or become invisible and simply go where it willed, regardless of barbed wire, bullets, hand grenades, and mortar bombs — which often didn't work at all, particularly when the wind was blowing from the north, out of the Old Kingdom.

The question in my mind is whether the "didn't work at all" applies only to _mortar bombs_ or also to _hand grenades._ (I've read the book and I'm pretty sure it also applies to grenades, but you don't know that in Chapter 2.)

Because the descriptive clause is lengthy in itself, lengthy at the end of a long sentence, and ambiguous to boot, I would say that the entire construction is too long and should be cut in two so that it's clearer what the clause is modifying.

> Anything powerful enough to cross the Wall usually retained enough magic to assume the shape of a soldier, or become invisible and simply go where it willed, regardless of barbed wire, bullets, hand grenades, and mortar bombs. Explosive weapons, thrown by hand or machine, often didn't work at all — particularly when the wind was blowing from the north, out of the Old Kingdom.

If Nix/editor is completely in love with the long sentence, then we could declare that the clause only applies to mortar bombs, and make it a parenthetical attached to that compound noun:

> Anything powerful enough to cross the Wall usually retained enough magic to assume the shape of a soldier, or become invisible and simply go where it willed, regardless of barbed wire, bullets, hand grenades, and mortar bombs (which often didn't work at all, particularly when the wind was blowing from the north, out of the Old Kingdom).

Original score: 9