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Q&A A question about Past Participle vs Simple Past in a novel

It's been mentioned on this board before, but rules which arbitrarily declare any part of a language off-limits are ridiculous. They may be meant to give guardrails to new writers, but all they end...

posted 6y ago by Lauren Ipsum‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-13T12:00:46Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/35156
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T08:33:49Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/35156
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T08:33:49Z (about 5 years ago)
It's been mentioned on this board before, but rules which arbitrarily declare any part of a language off-limits are ridiculous. They may be meant to give guardrails to new writers, but all they end up doing is making people frantic that they are Breaking A Rule. So ignore that idea.

* * *

In this instance, past tense vs. past participle indicates actions that took place in the past, but one is the "present" of the novel and the other is a completed action farther back in the past.

To elucidate:

> She closed the book. Her father had given it to her as a gift three months ago. When she had first read it, it had given her goosebumps.

_She closed the book_ is in the present of the story, even if it's being told in past tense. It's what she just did right now.

Three months ago, her father gave her a book. Three months ago (or less), she read the book, and she got goosebumps.

Those actions took place in the _distant_ past, and they were completed. To separate them from the "present-past" of the story's actions, you use the past participle.

Your other example is a little trickier. Let's break it up:

> She closed the book.

Present of the story.

> Her father gave it to her as a gift three months ago.

This tense doesn't work. _Gave_ in this specific sentence is the present of the story. You need to use _had given._

> When she first read it, it gave her goosebumps.

This can be parsed as "a continuing action in the past," as opposed to "a completed action in the past." _It had given her goosebumps_ means it happened and it's done. Because you're using _When_ here, it indicates that the actions happened farther back in the past, so you can get away with the "present-past" of _she first read it, it gave her goosebumps._ She's kind of remembering being back at that moment and reliving it.

Try setting your sentences in the present tense as an experiment and see if that makes it clearer:

> She turns the final page with a sigh, closes the book, and hugs it to her chest. Her father had given it to her as a gift three months ago. When she had first read it, it had given her goosebumps.

versus:

> She turns the final page with a sigh, closes the book, and hugs it to her chest. Her father gave it to her as a gift three months ago. When she first read it, it gave her goosebumps.

No matter what, _Her father gave_ simply doesn't ring right. It has to be _Her father had given._

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2018-04-17T22:34:12Z (over 6 years ago)
Original score: 5