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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/35733
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/35733
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

If this character is to be either hero or villain, there must be something they want and do not know how to get, or that comes at a hefty price. There must be a goal not easily attained, or there is no story, there is just a list of actions that produced their desired result and for the reader this is boring. There is no **conflict** , and to be interesting (as a story) conflict is crucial all along.

Mary Sue may be the most beautiful girl in the world: But the man she wants is a blind musician that doesn't really care, and in fact he is only romantically interested in women that are also blind and have shared his life journey firsthand. She can't have him without lying; and he will never love her for herself.

Your character needs something to strive for, and no matter how powerful, she can't be happy until she gets it. (Of course she might be happy to **start** the book, that is an entry into the status-quo world; but by the end of Act I she must need something that all her powers cannot easily deliver; she must be constrained somehow.

Some heroes are constrained by their own rules or code of ethics or morality: Mary Sue may be capable of besting anybody in battle, but refuses to kill for her own selfish wants and desires.

Superman detectives (Sherlock derivatives) want to **solve** the mystery and **prove** the guilt of the murderer. It isn't enough to know in their gut who is guilty and then assassinate them, even if they are morally capable of such a feat. That would still be a failure of their intelligence and ability.

Your Mary Sue needs something her powers cannot reach with simplicity: The love of another, a political revolution, technology beyond her grasp, to save the life of somebody she loves, a puzzle she cannot (by her own code) solve by snapping her fingers, because she feels that would be fundamentally wrong, or cheating, or worthless (e.g. using a potion to magically _make_ a man love her).

She has to struggle. Act I is about 30% of the story; the setup. The finale is about 5% of the story. If she is not struggling for the middle 65% of the story, you probably don't have a story, you likely have a wish-fulfillment fantasy.

Original score: 6