Post History
I wrote an article for a university newspaper that summarizes incidents involving racism on campus. After edits, the sentence structure became uniformly long instead of varied, straightforward voca...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T08:52:01Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/36268 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Anonymous Student
·
2019-12-08T08:52:01Z (almost 5 years ago)
I wrote an article for a university newspaper that summarizes incidents involving racism on campus. After edits, the sentence structure became uniformly long instead of varied, straightforward vocabulary was placed with ten-dollar words, and two sentences in a row now begin with the same clause ("In response,...").
Worst of all, the article now ends by telling the reader how to think. The original draft (which I still have) presents the facts and lets the reader draw his/her own conclusions. Now it ends by stating that the events describe will make it clear that racist individuals will receive consequences.
In brief, the article makes me look preachy and bad at writing. It also disrespects the smarts of the reader, by essentially repetitively stating "...and this event is racist", rather than letting the reader think for himself/herself. The editor is confident that the new version is superior to the previous.
The article's going to show up if people Google my name. I'm unsettled and unhappy about this. Is there anything I can do to distance myself from the article?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-05-19T18:49:56Z (over 6 years ago)
Original score: 11