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I'd like to add a thing to all the already given answers. It's definitely not ok if this feature is used only once in the whole story, but if it is consistent instead... Chapter 3: The majestic s...
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#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/36622 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I'd like to add a thing to all the already given answers. ## **It's definitely not ok if this feature is used only once in the whole story, but if it is consistent instead...** **Chapter 3: The majestic sword.** [...] Edward's sword was black and shiny, like a brand new car. [...] (I, as a reader, would think " ... wow, that's pretty random") **Chapter 4: The woods.** [...] The man was hiding in a dense forest. Edward was able to find him by cutting the bushes with his new sword, as sharp as a swiss army knife. [...] (I, as a reader, would think " ... he did it again??") **Chapter 5: The castle.** [...] Edward reached the castle. It was immense: as wide as a small town, as tall as a skyscraper. [...] (I, as a reader, would think " ... maybe this Edward actually knows something from our days") My point is that, if you have a reason to do this (I read through some comments, is maybe the narrator unknowingly from the future?), then it can be used as a feature of your writing style and as a hint that at least one character is from the future. The style could lead to "oh, that's the writer that uses modern-day reference **s** in his medieval stories!", but only if it is a systematic thing. If it's only for the sake of writing something unconventional, then it does not make sense: the reader has to be repaid by his discovery if that was the intent. PS: I would make sure that everytime this element is used, it is clear that the character is the subject of the comment. Not necessarily by first-person narration, but just putting it as his thought.