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Q&A How to describe something, that would normally be shown by facial expressions?

One mistake early writers make, is writing to directly influence the reader. The minute I say this, the retort is Isn't that the whole point? Yes, but influencing the reader is not the kind of th...

posted 6y ago by Amadeus‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-19T22:13:27Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/37212
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T09:13:03Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/37212
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T09:13:03Z (over 4 years ago)
One mistake early writers make, is writing to directly influence the reader. The minute I say this, the retort is **_Isn't that the whole point?_**

Yes, but influencing the reader is not the kind of thing you should do directly; you do that indirectly through your characters. So the point in this instance is, **_your character's interpretation of the facial expression, and how that makes them feel or think, is all that is important._**

Your reader feels _through_ your character. You do not need or want the narrator to describe the physicality of the facial expression to the point that the reader can understand that without any further help; that is boring and their understanding would be _clinical,_ not _visceral_. There is no punch to understanding after analysis. _Aha, wrinkled nose, curled lip, open mouth and gag reflex, lowered head and brow: Therefore Mary is disgusted._

All that description is trying to make the reader see or mimic the expression for themselves. But even _scripts_ do not do that or control actor expressions. They just say things like _"Mary shows extreme disgust, almost vomits but doesn't._ The actor (and sometimes director), in the context of the story, interprets that instruction for the camera.

Instead in prose, you mix small details that are _clues_ to expression with metaphor and simile and reactions and let the reader imagine the expressions. Our expressions are a **reflection** of our feelings; when we see them in film they cue those feelings. But _vice versa holds:_ If the reader understands the **feelings,** they will see the expressions that for them, **reflects** that feeling. Focus on the reactions you can most easily describe from both the feeling and its expression. In broad terms we understand _wince_, _frown_, _amusement_, _fear_, etc.

An example, hopefully you have an impression of their expressions:

> Ralph sniffs deeply and winces, he tells Mary, "Brace yourself."  
> He struggles with the tight lid and throws it back on its hinges, sucking a wave of odor from the bin. Rotting flesh. Mary thought she was ready, but the thick odor hits her hard, staggering her. She turns away gagging, straining to not vomit. Ralph flinches but instantly steels his expression, leaning to peer into the bin with narrowed eyes; breathing in tiny measured breaths through his mouth alone.  
> Mary returns to his side. He glances at her. she is pale. Contrite.  
> "No shame, buddy," Ralph said. "Don't hurl on the evidence."  
> She shook her head. "I'm good." She looked into the bin; her stomach lurched again but with willpower, she suppressed, forcing herself to be analytic. She surveyed the woman. No cuts, no bullet holes, no obviously broken bones. Fully clothed, forty, an outfit Mary thought would cost a week's pay, hair to match it. Two rings but unmarried, necklace, earrings. No other objects or weapons. No shoes. What does that mean?  
> Ralph said, "Tell me what you see."

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2018-06-25T13:42:44Z (almost 6 years ago)
Original score: 3