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Yes, your instincts are correct. You are outlining your characters, which you need to know for yourself as the author, but you are putting that down on paper within the story - and - we do not need...
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#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T09:17:57Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/37413 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
DPT
·
2019-12-08T09:17:57Z (almost 5 years ago)
Yes, your instincts are correct. You are outlining your characters, which you need to know for yourself as the author, but you are putting that down on paper within the story - and - we do not need to know it any more than we need to know the town he was born in, or how long his mother's labour was, or whether he had colic. Trust your instincts. They are right on the money. You are showing he is a servant already, (or at least not nobility.) Most of the stuff you tell us in the second part of each paragraph (telling, in each case) will come out naturally later through context. Cut the telling. Your instincts are good.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-07-03T19:54:26Z (over 6 years ago)
Original score: 2