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I see this a lot in unpublished writing (including my own early drafts): "I entered the room and saw a red couch and a bookcase. I thought it was a particularly nice red. I heard the clock ticking....
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#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T09:19:56Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/37524 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Ken Mohnkern
·
2019-12-08T09:19:56Z (almost 5 years ago)
I see this a lot in unpublished writing (including my own early drafts): "I entered the room and saw a red couch and a bookcase. I thought it was a particularly nice red. I heard the clock ticking." Remember that we, the readers, know that the words and ideas are coming from you, the writer. So you can just say stuff rather than saying that you think it. Look for "I thought..." "I saw..." "I felt..." and in a surprising number of cases you can delete that phrase and tweak the wording a bit. So... "In the room was a red couch and a bookcase. It was a particularly nice red. The clock ticked."
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-07-09T13:21:13Z (over 6 years ago)
Original score: 3