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Q&A How to Write a Good Metaphor

Zoom out. Zoom in. A metaphor claims that one thing is another thing. For that to work, the salient feature you are describing about one thing must be THE most important feature shared and exagge...

posted 6y ago by Amadeus‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-19T22:13:29Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/37582
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T09:21:47Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/37582
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T09:21:47Z (over 4 years ago)
### Zoom out. Zoom in.

A metaphor claims that one thing **_is_** another thing.

For that to work, the salient feature you are describing about one thing must be THE most important feature shared and exaggerated by the other thing.

So first, we must **zoom out:** meaning stripping our original thing down to this one most salient detail we are interested in; making the whole thing one pixel on the screen and finding the color of it. That is the one detail.

Then we must mentally **zoom in:** What real object shows that one color best?

For example, I want to write Allen returning home to the farmhouse for the Christmas break after his first year away to college. When he gets to the gate his dog Bandit sees him from the porch, and runs a hundred yards across the lawn, leaps into his arms then squirms out and twists and turns and jumps about in joy, tail wagging.

Zoom out: The most salient feature in this scene is just the speed of Bandit. Not anything else about the dog, farmhouse, yard, etc. For speed, what is a fast object? bullet, lightning, rocket, missile, cheetah, explosion ... keep going until you have something that doesn't feel like a cliché to you, and you have your metaphor (or simile; "like a missile").

Pull out the salient feature, and try to come up with something original that also exhibits that salient feature. Google it. in this case "fast", or related synonyms for "fast". (quick, swift, speedy).

If you **cannot** find a suitable metaphor, sometimes a simile can be used where a metaphor falls flat: "as swift as a hawk diving on prey".

Or use the cliché with the excuse your character thinks that way (I know many people that have used the same damn clichés for 40 years).

Or skip it and write a clean and lengthy description, "Bandit leapt from the porch and bounded toward him, at full gallop, at the end leaped into his arms and licked Allen's face with joyful abandon."

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2018-07-12T11:42:08Z (almost 6 years ago)
Original score: 22