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Q&A How to Write a Good Metaphor

It's a brilliant answer from Amadeus (as always). I'd like to add a technique for when you cannot find a metaphor/simile that hasn't already been overused: distracting with detail. For example, sa...

posted 6y ago by GGx - Reinstate Monica Cellio‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T09:21:51Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/37583
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar GGx - Reinstate Monica Cellio‭ · 2019-12-08T09:21:51Z (almost 5 years ago)
It's a brilliant answer from Amadeus (as always). I'd like to add a technique for when you cannot find a metaphor/simile that hasn't already been overused: distracting with detail.

For example, say I want to describe a man listening to me intently. If I were to write:

> I’ve never met anyone with such focussed attention; he's a bird of prey.

That's a cliché. But you can distract the reader from it with detail:

> I’ve never met anyone with such focussed attention; he’s a bird of prey and I’ve snapped a twig in the undergrowth.

Instead of seeing the bird of prey, a boring comparison, the reader sees a mouse, stepping on a twig, alerting the hawk to its presence and endangering its life, which is far less boring, yet still the same boring metaphor.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2018-07-12T13:41:57Z (over 6 years ago)
Original score: 11