Communities

Writing
Writing
Codidact Meta
Codidact Meta
The Great Outdoors
The Great Outdoors
Photography & Video
Photography & Video
Scientific Speculation
Scientific Speculation
Cooking
Cooking
Electrical Engineering
Electrical Engineering
Judaism
Judaism
Languages & Linguistics
Languages & Linguistics
Software Development
Software Development
Mathematics
Mathematics
Christianity
Christianity
Code Golf
Code Golf
Music
Music
Physics
Physics
Linux Systems
Linux Systems
Power Users
Power Users
Tabletop RPGs
Tabletop RPGs
Community Proposals
Community Proposals
tag:snake search within a tag
answers:0 unanswered questions
user:xxxx search by author id
score:0.5 posts with 0.5+ score
"snake oil" exact phrase
votes:4 posts with 4+ votes
created:<1w created < 1 week ago
post_type:xxxx type of post
Search help
Notifications
Mark all as read See all your notifications »
Q&A

How to write an introductory dialogue? [closed]

+0
−0

Closed by System‭ on Aug 6, 2018 at 16:52

This question was closed; new answers can no longer be added. Users with the reopen privilege may vote to reopen this question if it has been improved or closed incorrectly.

What are different ways I can write a dialogue where a character is introducing himself to a woman in a professional setting?

I don't want to write explicitly like this,

"Hello Miss Emily, my name is Dr.Alfred Miller, I am the professor of Physics here at the university."

Edit:

In my novel, my protagonist is a saleswoman in a technology company and she is in the office of professor Alfred Miller. Her company has already sealed the deal with the university about the tech product. She is here to get the details of Professor's requirement. She arrives in the office of professor with a mutual friend they have, Susan. I have written the following dialogue, the next line is when the Prof introduces himself.

“Hey Alfred, good morning.”

“Hey morning Sue, how are you?”

“I am good, thanks, meet my colleague Emily.”

“Hello Emily, ...he introduces himself.”

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.
Why should this post be closed?

This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/38145. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

0 comment threads

2 answers

You are accessing this answer with a direct link, so it's being shown above all other answers regardless of its score. You can return to the normal view.

+1
−0

At the moment, your suggested dialogue is very dry. Every piece of dialogue should ideally serve one of two purposes:

1: Move the plot forward.

2: Expose something about a character/their relationship with a character.

A good example of economic usage of a greeting to establish something about characters immediately are the sheepdogs from the looney tunes.

Every day, one punches in to their sheepdog job while the other punches out. They curtly say to each other:

"Morning, Sam."

"Morning, Ralph."

This summarises both their relationship to each other (they cover each other's off shifts) and their role (punch-clock sheepdogs who have as much apathy for their jobs as human punch-clock workers).

Think about what this greeting or introduction is trying to achieve. If it's literally just a polite greeting with no caveats or additional meaning, reconsider having it as a dialogue exchange at all; it could easily be summarised with 'Dr Alfred gave Emily the same milquetoast greeting he gave everyone else', or words to that effect.

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/38146. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

0 comment threads

+0
−0

Speaking as a professor (with a PhD), I would introduce myself, to a friend of a friend, by my first name. As an aside, a saleswoman should not be introduced as "a colleague" in a university setting, a colleague is somebody of similar rank, and in this setting implies a PhD. That is certainly what I think when anybody is introduced as "a colleague." Susan should introduce her as a "friend". Also, unless this is a VERY small college, it has multiple professors of physics, so "I am THE professor of physics" is inappropriate, "I am A professor physics" is what he would say. If you want some prestige, make him "THE Department Head", that is singular and suggests experience and seniority (without being so high up that he is more managerial / administrative than practical).

"Hi Emily, I'm Alfred. Dr. Miller if we are being formal."

"Oh, are you a teacher here?"

"I'm the Physics Department Head, that takes up most of my time so I'm exempt from teaching classes, but I do have three students working on my research projects. What has you two wandering the halls?"

Something like that.

History
Why does this post require attention from curators or moderators?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

0 comment threads