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Q&A

How do you make two characters fall in love?

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I'm writing a high school romance story. My story centers around two characters falling in love, but I can't find a way to make their romance seem real and believable.

Here is the backstory: The main character is a boy from a lower class family. He got a chance to go to another big city and attend a prestigious school. In the school every other child is from a much higher class society and family. So the boy is most likely to be bullied and that turned out to be true.

There is also a girl character who is super popular in that school. I want my main character and this girl character to fall in love with each other, but not finding a reasonable way to tie most popular girl to the most bullied boy ever. ALSO, the girl character is not the motherly type creature in general. So I can't make her fall in love with him out of kindness and generosity. No, the girl character is not mean. I meant she isn't that kind of girl who will notice a bullied person and necessarily feel like helping him. Also I don't want her to be in Love with him out of sympathy, that would be pathetic. She is actually a trouble maker kind of girl but she is also very playful, funny and childish.

My general question is this: What makes a fictional romance seem real and believable? How do you develop the relationship between the characters?

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3 answers

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Possible ways include:

  • One night she has a dream about him. It need not be erotic, or even romantic, just the two of them in the same situation.
  • Some detail of his appearance, manner, speech, etc. appeals to her in a way that no other boy does.
  • Unbeknownst to her classmates, she is undergoing an internal struggle, and while the boy also does not know this, he shows by word or (preferably) action that it's a struggle that he understands.
  • After joining in the cruelties that have been heaped on the boy, something happens to make her genuinely remorseful for what she has done.

The one you pick will depend on whether you want her interest in him to be a lightning-strikes sort of thing, or based on having something in common, or as a result of the growth of her character.

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I believe you have to give the boy a skill that the girl really likes.

Obviously it can't be fighting; but a bullied boy can still be highly intelligent, or artistic, or musical, or something more unusual that she appreciates. one example, he's awesome with dogs, and despite not defending himself, leaps into a dog fight to prevent a big mean dog from killing her little dog. He even gets bit, but blows it off, and ends up controlling the bigger dog. She doesn't get it, he's not afraid of being bitten by a dog but can't stand up for himself? (You find a reason for him to be that way; e.g. when she asks, he tells her, "That dog won't come looking for me tomorrow, he won't hold a grudge."

You need to invent a scene that first create curiosity on her part; she cannot be 100% shallow even if she is popular. She needs to be a thinking, feeling human being. Yeah she knows she's pretty; yeah she knows how to make people like her. But that can't be her whole life.

She starts a secret relationship with this boy, she loves his art, she loves his music, whatever. It is only partially true that "opposites attract"; the truth of relationships is synergy together. If Jack and Jill have different skills and are willing to use them to benefit both of them, they are stronger for that. But also, if Jack and Jill enjoy the same music, movies, books, or physical activities (like hiking, surfing, climbing, chess, D&D) then together they find more for both of them, have more opportunities for fun together, and can enjoy being with each other.

"Same" attracts also, most of your friends will share at least some of your interests, or you have nothing to talk about.

That synergy of co-dependence (skills Jack has that Jill does not, and vice versa), shared enjoyable experience and liking to be together (things they both like) makes people care for each other. It makes them think about each other, and builds empathy between them. Add in some mutual physical attraction, and the demonstration of that care in emotionally vulnerable moments can then be the trigger for love.

It is not love at first sight, really, that is lust. This is the recipe for love of the person; she can be in love with the thinking and emotions of the artist that truly cares for her, whatever you choose his "art" to be.

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How do people in Real Life fall in love? They get to know each other. They share some interests, so they enjoy spending time together, and have common things to talk about. They respect each other. Each has qualities the other finds positive, perhaps even admirable. They are willing to forgive each other's less pleasant attributes.

To make a fictional romance believable, you would have to show those elements: they would have to have positive interactions with each other. Each would have to earn the other's respect.

A relationship with no arguments, no negative interactions, is impossible. You would have to show how those interactions ultimately lead to constructive rather than destructive results - better understanding.

We expect two partners to bring in equal measures to the table - otherwise the reader might well ask why would character A wish to remain with character B. So consider what qualities each character possesses that the other does not, what each contributes to the relationship, in what ways they are together stronger than each one on their own.

You can show the process of falling in love by way of the characters each thinking of the other while they're not there, being aware of each other's presence, contemplating what the other's opinion of them would be on a given situation, etc.

Consider, for example, Pride and Prejudice:

No sooner had [Mr. Darcy] made it clear to himself and his friends that she had hardly a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes [...] and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. [...] He began to wish to know more of her, and as a step towards conversing with her himself, attended to her conversation with others. (Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, chapter 6)

That is the very beginning - Darcy notices Elizabeth - that is, notices her as standing out from the crowd. The two proceed to interact with each other, they are more and more on each other's thoughts, they grow to understand each other better. Through actions, they change, and change each other's opinion of themselves, and grow to accept each other's weaknesses.

You also need to show a couple's understanding each other - how they fit. Not completing each other's sentences - that trope has been overused, but taking into account each other's views without being reminded, understanding each other's intent. An example of a couple understanding each other, again from Pride and Prejudice:

'What made you so shy of me, when you first called, and afterwards dined here? Why, especially, when you called, did you look as if you did not care about me?'
'Because you were grave ans silent, and gave me no encouragement.'
'But I was embarrassed.'
'And so was I.'
'You might have talked to me more when you came to dinner.'
'A man who had felt less, might.'
'How unlucky that you should have a reasonable answer to give, and that I should be so reasonable as to admit it!' (ibid, chapter 60)

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