How to research sex for writing?
I'm not writing erotica - I'm writing fantasy and sci-fi. But sometimes my characters make love, sometimes in ways I cannot be familiar with. In one story, it's two guys (I'm a girl). In another story, there's a character who uses a wheelchair.
How do I research this, so I can get the relevant scenes right?
I have gay friends, and I have a friend who uses a wheelchair, but I can't exactly ask them about positions and the like.
As for Google, Google is all too happy to provide me with porn. And the thing about porn is a) I'm not actually comfortable watching it, and b) porn is not realistic. I need to understand what a scene like that would really be like, what's realistic.
Of course, since I'm not writing erotica, I can lower the curtain on a scene, describe more of what the characters feel than what's actually going on, etc. But the thing is, to describe a scene, I need first to see it, and then to pick out what I want to focus on. And here, particularly in the second case, I see a lot of question marks. "Lowering the curtains" has to be my artistic choice, not an "I don't actually know what's happening, so I'm going to skip it".
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IMO, pornography is realistic enough; seek out the "homemade" variety. I think you can tell if these are scripted or being "acted". Particularly if there is any hint of role playing; it isn't realistic, and probably if there are multiple camera angles, it isn't realistic. (An exception for iPhone video, where the hand holding it can move about).
At least some of them really are just a fixed camera focused on the bed and two people going at it.
Be aware, sometimes initial minutes are cut as "boring", getting undressed or ready.
Besides that, aid your own imagination with props. Whether you have experience or not, find a wheelchair to sit in, perhaps at the E.R. of the local hospital. Imagine for yourself what could be done. Take picture of it, or yourself in it. You can find on porn a picture of a naked guy with an erection sitting, so you can see the logistics problem. Now wrap a wheelchair around him, and see what's possible. It will be truly be easier if you are sitting in one!
I'm pretty sure fellatio would be pretty easy for a guy in a wheelchair; perhaps something like a backwards cowgirl could be executed; or in that link click on the "seated" tag and there are dozens of positions shown, I see 2 or 3 that might be possible (for a flexible girl).
Don't sell your imagination short. A few pictures to get the mechanics right, and the rest is fair game. Nobody else is exactly like your characters, so as long as you don't break the laws of physics or biology I think you'll be fine.
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You might find that research isn't quite so important. If you're describing a banquet, you don't need to picture how the guests chew and swallow their food.
For the scene with the two guys, you can focus on the foreplay - kissing, caressing, nibbling, petting, arousal, i.e all the things a person of either gender can imagine as pleasurable - and pay less attention to the genital stuff.
If you feel compelled to describe the physical positions during coitus, it's also going to depend on how (a) experienced and (b) adventurous each character is. The mechanics are pretty simple: a guy comes by having his penis stimulated, usually involving friction - mouth, hand, anus, groin-to-groin, etc. The two guys can take turns, or they can stimulate each other simultaneously. But honestly, how they come is less interesting to the reader than how they each feel and behave - are they nervous? confident? over-eager? submissive? playful? dominating? clumsy? tender? overwhelmed? shouting "ride me cowboy"?
For the guy in a wheelchair, sex may be more complicated. What's the nature of their disability? If it's a spinal injury, you'll need to address whether they can feel anything "down there". If they can't, there are special techniques to stimulate the penis to erection/ejaculation, but you'd have to research this - maybe the rehabilitation wing of a local hospital might be willing to help you.
If the guy in the wheelchair can achieve an erection through the usual means, then it comes down to how restricted they are in adopting a desired position. Beyond that, see my comments in my second paragraph.
I applaud you for the diversity of your characters, and not denying them the pleasure of physical contact. Most adult readers have experience of giving love and being loved; in the scenarios you've described, your task is to connect the reader with that experience. The mechanics are only relevant if they're important in the story.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/38727. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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