How do you make sex magic feel like a natural part of a setting?
In this world, witchcraft is practiced openly and is a neccessary function of society. Men cannot use magic directly, but possess much more mana than women. There are some spells that a witch may not have the neccessary amount of mana to perform, or it would be extremely difficult for her to do it herself. During intercourse, a witch can absorb the essence of a male and use it to temporarily power her own spells, or to concieve a child.
In many fantasy writings, sex is used as a neccessary part of performing magic. It often feels like it is thrown in just as an excuse for having it, and can come off as tacky or cringeworthy. How can you make it feel natural to a setting? How much should you show and tell? Should you go into detail about how it works, as well as its limitations? Or should you gloss over the nooks and crannies of it and leave it to the imagination of the reader?
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Just do what you are already doing. First, make it necessary to perform some spells; they require the energy of two genders joined. I might even make it distasteful to the female, but she does it out of necessity.
I'd let the men volunteer. Yeah, they will be drained for a day or more, but sex for magic is the best sex there is, so it is worth applying. Let the witches be picky.
Then your problem is a more normal problem, which you can conquer, writing a sex scene that isn't cringeworthy, You want it to be realistic given the attitudes of the partners and the goal of the witch. In many ways (under the scenario I have outlined) she is similar to a prostitute with a willing client; she has to bring him to orgasm, but she is not doing it for love or kindness, this is just manual labor, her job to get her pay (mana) and accomplish something else.
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