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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/39511
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I have a quick question- I'm just a bit confused about the story I'm writing.

So earlier today I posted the first chapter of my story, and someone commented that the story "escalated too fast for me to comprehend". Naturally, I went back and read over my chapter, but everything seemed fine. I didn't see anything wrong with the pacing, really, it might've been a bit rushed, but I couldn't think of a way to fix it.

The events are, in order:

MC heads off to work to confront her boss about something; MC collapses and is taken to the hospital, where she then wakes up; MC is offered a ride to a restaurant by her boss, who was there at the hospital waiting for her to wake up; MC and boss get into a car crash on the way there

The chapter is almost 3000 words long, if that helps in any way, and there are little spaces so the reader knows where the time skips are.

I do understand that there is quite a bit going on during one day, but for the story and sake of plot, I kinda need those things to happen around the first or second chapter so that I can get to the climax a bit quicker. (the story that I've planned is actually pretty long, and on the website that I'm publishing it on longer stories aren't accepted that much, so I'm trying to shorten mine up)

Original score: 13