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Every writer strives to make readers to feel the universe depicted in the story or writing. MC going to her boss(action) - confront(emotion)- collapses(incident)- taken to the hospital(action) -b...
Answer
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T09:59:38Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/39521 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Ruchit Dalwadi
·
2019-12-08T09:59:38Z (about 5 years ago)
Every writer strives to make readers to feel the universe depicted in the story or writing. MC going to her boss(action) - confront(emotion)- collapses(incident)- taken to the hospital(action) -boss waiting for her(action)- MC wakes up(action) - ride being offered by the boss(action) - car crash(incident) if you see there are too many actions & incidents in a short span of time & too little emotions for someone to empathize. Now coming back to your case, as you suggested there were 3000 words & if I assume average 12 words a sentence, there will be approx 250 lines which I feel are pretty much to describe your story which you've summarized. But from the feedback you got, there is a little possibility that in your 250 sentences, there might be too much information regarding action / incidents but little room for emotions for someone to put oneself in the character.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-10-19T09:45:20Z (about 6 years ago)
Original score: 3