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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/39583
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/39583
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Often books take a while to get into when they have a slow start, when not much is happening for the first part of the novel. However, you say that's not the case with you - you have plenty of action.

I would therefore surmise that the problem is exactly the one you point out in your other question: **readers are not particularly invested in your MC**. If readers don't care about your MC, it doesn't matter that there's action - the readers have no stake in it. Imagine reading that some two celebrities you've never heard of had a breakup - it doesn't matter how dramatic the breakup was, if you have no idea who those celebrities are, you couldn't care less. That's the position you're putting your readers into.

What to do? Make the MC more compelling, give us a reason to care. How? First and foremost, I think, make his internal monologue interesting. Make him someone we'd want to listen to. Maybe he has a unique view on things, maybe he's witty, maybe he's particularly observant, maybe something else - we're supposed to listen to him talk, so it'd better be good. Second, give him some compelling trait. Maybe it's his sense of humour. Maybe it's his audacity. Maybe he's a gentle and devoted son. Anything. The moment we have a reason to care about the MC, the action and conflict would come into focus, and the whole novel would be much more engaging.

Original score: 7