Need advice about changing character's gender
I had this idea for a story/novel that I was very excited about, but also very worried about. The idea had a plot where the character development plot and themes all grow and go together, something I love, and think makes the best stories and that I've been striving for (this is what I am excited about).
However, two of the main characters are bisexual men who fall in love, and I know that lots of people are angry about women writing those types of characters. I'm not trying to appropriate or fetishize anyone, the love story is a big part of the plot, but there are plenty of other plot elements and themes; there's also a female lead character who isn't part of the relationship it all. There is some of the "forbidden love" theme that people take exception to — it's there because they are trying to succeed in the late 60's and it's a family issue. But they also come out part way to their mothers and siblings and friends, most of them. It isn't the point of the story, just a small piece.
I could change one of the characters to female and make it work though I would have to change the plot quite a bit, and both characters are based on 4 guys I know, but maybe I should just to avoid pissing people off.
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Each writer is of one gender, and one sexual orientation, and in order for their stories to reflect real life, they have to learn to write from the POV of other genders and other sexual orientations.
Don't be sexist on yourself, male heterosexual writers have written about homosexual males and homosexual females. Heck, people write convincingly about prostitutes, hit men, rape victims and serial killers and master thieves that they have never actually been. And medieval wizards, extra-terrestrials, kings and warriors.
Don't be afraid of writing what you want and what you think makes your story the strongest. Changing one of your characters might make your story feel unrealistic, because other characters in your book would not react the same to a female, and the character in question might react differently as a female, and these disparities can make the plot feel forced or unnatural.
My advice is leave it alone, and don't worry about selling to an audience that judges you on anything other than the quality of your writing and the quality of the story.
You might lose some sales to the judgy, but you would likely lose MORE sales by straining to fit a woman into the role of a bisexual male, and forcing the partner as a heterosexual male instead of a bisexual male. I believe the necessary changes in mindset and attitude (and presumably the loss of social tensions) would make this "not their story" anymore. The story was written for and belongs to two bisexual men in love, not a heterosexual couple in love.
EDIT: I see many suggestions about getting bisexual men to read your book and tell you what they think. That can be difficult, if you don't already know any! For most of us it is hard enough to get family to read our books and provide feedback, much less strangers we also want to qualify by gender and sexual orientation. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe Facebook has a group.
As an alternative, I would suggest reading bisexual authors that perhaps have written about bisexual relationships; that is much easier to search for on the web. Here is a list of about 200 Bisexual Writers, not all of them recent. But you could check out their pages and see what they've written, and perhaps learn from it. If they have any bisexual characters, their first-hand experience would help you understand what they felt was important to portray and write about. Not to copy them, but to get an idea of how a bisexual character thinks.
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Instead of worrying about it just do your best. Though don't assume you're going to get it right. In fact, you're probably better off assuming you'll get everything wrong. It's always a bunch of confused nonsense when someone who is completely outside of the issue attempts to try and roleplay what it's like to actually have it happen to you. You're an alien, and nothing is gong to line up.
It's the reason male writers are so terrible at writing female characters. It's the reason the reverse is also true. Not telling you what to write, or not write, just pointing out that perhaps it's impossible for a snake to know what it's like to be a bird, and likewise impossible for a monkey to know what it's like to be a fish. It's not that we can't imagine what it's like, it's simply that our imaginings are always like Picasso paintings, a weird ACID trip version of reality that at first glance might look like a person, until you stare at it and realize the nose is on backwards and sideways.
Anyway best of luck, and I'm sorry if I utterly failed to be helpful.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/39770. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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So, you are concerned about representing a minority in your story, because you do not belong to that minority. Following the same logic, men shouldn't write about women, WASP Americans shouldn't write about anyone of different religion or skin colour, and only people with disabilities should write about people with disabilities, preferably with their particular disability. That's not right, is it? We want diversity. If we follow the above logic, we appear to be getting the opposite.
Do not be afraid to give people representation. Indeed, consider the example of Les Misérables: Victor Hugo was neither an illiterate worker condemned to hard labour for stealing a loaf of bread, nor an ex-convict whom society wouldn't let rebuild his life, nor a young woman with an illegitimate child. He was a rich and famous, privileged, white male writer. But his book made a real difference, in public awareness and in legislature.
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I agree with others. Don't change your story to remove diversity because you are worried you can't write those characters. Embrace diversity in your writing and your life. The best way to write a character that is different from you is to meet people and research.
Maybe your character works in a factory. Have you ever worked in a factory? If not, you need to learn more about it. Taking a temp job would be great, though hard. Reading accounts of factory workers is important. And making friends who are factory workers or at least meeting people is second best to you doing it yourself.
The next step is a Sensitivity Reader. Find someone to read your work and flag anything you messed up. For example, I'm Jewish and am writing a book about Jews and Jewish themes. But one of my characters is a Baptist (who married a Jew). I wrote a scene with her talking about faith with a couple Jewish characters. I thought it was fine. My Jewish spouse thought it was fine. I mean I've done interfaith work, I should know this, right? My writer's group went, uhhh, that's a bit off. I also took it to an Christian Evangelical friend of mine who helped me fix it.
You're gonna mess up. You're gonna be tone-deaf about things sometimes. People will correct you (if you're lucky). Keep the diversity and be open to learning more and meeting more people and owning up to mistakes. That's all any of us can do. Each and every one of us is not a member of various (and numerous) diverse communities.
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