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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/39814
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/39814
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

A character I'm writing about is a girl of 15, daughter of a nobleman, unable to walk due to having contracted Polio when she was 5. Being quite intelligent, she attracts some useful attention, and is offered a position at court.

Her father is feeling very protective of her, and is not in favour of her taking the position. Factors contributing to his feelings:

- She's his little girl (age and gender and he loves her dearly)
- There's her disability, and he's guilt-tripping about it. He wasn't on the estate when Polio swept through the village, he feels that if he'd been there, he might have been able to do something. (Never mind that there's nothing that could have been done. Humans are funny that way.)
- He doesn't actually see her very often - he's at court, she's at the estate. So his awareness of her being "all grown up" is a bit muted. (Not that parents are ever good at realising their children are grown up.)
- Court is a jungle: intrigue and whatnot. It really is dangerous, in all kinds of devious ways. And any enemies he might have, they'd see her as an easy target.

So basically, he's being a mother hen. Annoying, but very human. Or at least, that's what I want him to be.

What I'm struggling with is keeping him in the "mother hen" territory. **I want to maintain the readers' sympathy for how he feels, even while they disagree with him.** Instead, he keeps sliding into "annoying, patronizing, ableist misogynist" territory. In a particular scene, I'm having him confront the person who offered the girl the position. What he's saying should be the words of a worried father. Instead, he comes off as a very unsympathetic person.

How do I maintain the balance? How do I maintain the poor father sympathetic in his (somewhat misguided) attempt to protect his little girl?

(The particulars of the question are of course unimportant. The important factors are the girl being young, female, and suffering from a disability, and the father trying to be protective.)

Original score: 4