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Have the narrator tell the action in that place, not show it. Then show Old Man's reaction. Example: "Nothing gives you the right to do this." Old Man sat back down in his chair, hoping Taylor...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-20T00:40:32Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/40107 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T10:10:28Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/40107 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
Have the narrator tell the action in that place, not show it. Then show Old Man's reaction. Example: "Nothing gives you the right to do this." Old Man sat back down in his chair, hoping Taylor would take the hint and go. Instead, he bent over so close Old Man smelled beer and onions on his breath. Then Taylor whispered something Old Man had last heard from his wife's dying lips. Too many years to count. "How?..." Old Man asked him. Taylor stood. "I know more than you think. More than just your name, Old Man." And so on...
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2018-11-13T17:12:34Z (almost 6 years ago)
Original score: 71