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Q&A Using real words from a foreign culture feels like 'Calling a rabbit a "smeerp"'

It's ultimately up to you, but you don't want your ancient Persia overridden by knights. You may as well make them wear full plate armor instead of describing whatever garment was in use in that ag...

posted 5y ago by Liquid‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-13T11:56:48Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/40641
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T10:20:04Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/40641
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T10:20:04Z (over 4 years ago)
It's ultimately up to you, but you don't want your ancient Persia overridden by knights. _You may as well_ make them wear full plate armor instead of describing whatever garment was in use in that age for the sake of simplicity, but at the same time you'de be losing something valuable.

It's true that it will be difficult for the reader to familiarize with a new concept, especially in the first part of the novel. But there are ways to make it work; the extract of Monica Cellio's answer is one of them (assuming it's used consistently all over the novel). **It's fine if the reader gets confused** about the caste system and the power relationship between Asvanars and Vaspahrs in the first chapter, **as long as that confusion fuels his curiosity.**

I remember some author (maybe Sanderson or King) giving the following advice: don't assume your audience is stupid (or at least, below average). I'm not saying that you are doing that, at least on a conscious level. As humans, we are very good at finding meaning to unfamiliar words given the context, without needing to be spoon-fed with definitions.

Another point to consider is that you're adding value to your setting through research. You mentioned Asvanars being almost equivalent to knights. **Yet, if you put it like that, it becomes less interesting**. "_Allright, it's knights again_". It may be familiar to me, but it may be so to the point of boredom. Instead, being able to discover bit by bit what Asvanars do as I follow your story, learning the differences and similarities with what I already know about what a warrior caste does, will provide me - as reader - with a more fullfilling experience.

To sum up:

- Choose what are the concepts and the word that you don't want to translate in english. While it's worth to call Vaspahrs with their name, maybe calling swords shamshir it's not as important, and surely you don't want to give each scrap of cloth a persian name. It's up to your common sense to decide when to stop.
- Once chosen, use your terms in the right context.
- You may make it easier for the reader to understand them correctly, describing self evident scenes especially in the first chapters, " **Rahil drawed his shamshir, its sharp and curved edge glinting coldly in the morning light, angry and menacing like a bared fang.**"
- While you can give context, try to avoid spoonfeeding, e.g. clearly stating out that "Asvanars are this and they do that". The more you manage to show the concepts in action, rather than pausing the scenes and the characters, the better.

And all this is coming from a guy that struggled to understand the difference between Teyirn and Arls in Dragon Age. (On a side note, I'm using shamshir as sword, but I haven't researched if it makes sense for the period you're writing about).

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2018-12-11T09:16:37Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 33