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I am writing a fantasy novella that ends up using a lot of internal monologues, often mixed with dialogue, descriptions, and other character's monologues. For example, this excerpt from the first c...
#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/40764 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I am writing a fantasy novella that ends up using a lot of internal monologues, often mixed with dialogue, descriptions, and other character's monologues. For example, this excerpt from the first chapter > Yoshida’s head was aching from where he had been hit. A bright light shone in his eyes, and he clenched them tighter. A cool, damp breeze wafted across his face. > > The long blades of wild grass rustled as Yoshida sat up, his eyes flying open. A realization dawned on him as he looked at his surroundings. > > “A forest? Wasn’t I just in my office in Tokyo?” > > Dumbfounded, he sat for a moment. The forest seemed all too familiar, with its Japanese beech trees and ferns. > > (It reminds me of when I visited Shirakami-Sanchi, that forest up North) he thought to himself. > > He looked down at what he was wearing, and saw black cloth, brown leather belts, and chain mail peeking out from under a jerkin. > > (Wait a minute, is this my Guild Mythos character?) > > Day to day, Yoshida acted as the head of a small game-testing firm. Having been unsure of himself during his school days, he had taken journalism and game design courses, eventually making a name for himself as someone with a keen eye for quality Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games—MMORPGs. I chose to use parenthesis to be a clear indication for when a character is thinking for a few reasons: Firstly, I originally wrote a lot of the dialogue and internal monologue as new lines. Secondly, I wanted a very clear indication of when a character was thinking. Thirdly, I simply didn't know that italics were a standard. The reason I wonder if I should change it is that I have written the entire book in this style. While I'm not opposed to changing it, I find that the parenthesis work well for what I use them for, and don't obfuscate what I'm trying to convey. **Since I have used them throughout the entire novella, would you recommend leaving the parenthesis, or changing over to italics?** As a comment, I haven't tried italics yet, but I think they would make the internal monologue a bit harder to differentiate from the normal text, which the only other reason (apart from reducing extra work) I wouldn't want to make the change.