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Q&A The problem of the throwaway boyfriend

You seem to want there to be a throwaway relationship on the one hand but not on the other hand. There are of course subtleties and degrees, but, in a broad analysis, either it is a throwaway rela...

posted 5y ago by Jason Bassford Supports Monica‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T10:26:00Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/40962
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Jason Bassford Supports Monica‭ · 2019-12-08T10:26:00Z (over 4 years ago)
You seem to want there to be a throwaway relationship on the one hand but not on the other hand.

There are of course subtleties and degrees, but, in a broad analysis, either it _is_ a throwaway relationship—and you shouldn't worry about there being little tension over it disappearing (at least not in terms of pages of writing)—or it _isn't_ a throwaway relationship and there should be more going on to make it obvious that it's not a simple decision.

For instance, give them a child together. That would make it dramatically more difficult for the MC to decide to abandon one life in favour of another. And it might keep readers guessing a lot longer as to whether or not that will actually happen. The stakes, and the tension, would be all the greater. It would also make the readers care more about the relationship than they would about one where it's really just two separate people each going their own way and putting the past behind them. (People break up all the time, but it's more _significant_ when a breakup leaves longer-lasting effects than just moving on to someone else.)

The most effective learning experiences are those which are painful, but from which you grow and adapt anyway.

Or, go the other way and only summarize the breakup. The character can still suffer—you can describe things that happen to him that indicate that—but the reader doesn't need to be aware of all of the details around them as they happen. Relay events in a short series of vignettes or flashbacks. You can indicate the suffering and growth, but still preserve the bulk of the tension of the story for what comes after the breakup.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-01-01T22:02:00Z (about 5 years ago)
Original score: 1