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The main issue is that you have created a stock villain without depth. You have given him a son in the hope to give him a voice, but there is nothing to voice because they are both just extreme ste...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-18T21:34:22Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41134 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T10:31:28Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41134 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
The main issue is that you have created a stock villain without depth. You have given him a son in the hope to give him a voice, but there is nothing to voice because they are both just extreme stereotypes: the fascist-dictator and the naive-dreamer. You need to rework your villain. Give him a purpose that you can agree with, and make his actions justifiable, both wrong and right. The best villain you can hope for is one that could almost lure you into agreeing with him. In its current form and in your current state of mind there is nothing truly that can give a decent shape to your one dimensional dialogue.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-01-09T08:34:03Z (almost 6 years ago)
Original score: 8