Communities

Writing
Writing
Codidact Meta
Codidact Meta
The Great Outdoors
The Great Outdoors
Photography & Video
Photography & Video
Scientific Speculation
Scientific Speculation
Cooking
Cooking
Electrical Engineering
Electrical Engineering
Judaism
Judaism
Languages & Linguistics
Languages & Linguistics
Software Development
Software Development
Mathematics
Mathematics
Christianity
Christianity
Code Golf
Code Golf
Music
Music
Physics
Physics
Linux Systems
Linux Systems
Power Users
Power Users
Tabletop RPGs
Tabletop RPGs
Community Proposals
Community Proposals
tag:snake search within a tag
answers:0 unanswered questions
user:xxxx search by author id
score:0.5 posts with 0.5+ score
"snake oil" exact phrase
votes:4 posts with 4+ votes
created:<1w created < 1 week ago
post_type:xxxx type of post
Search help
Notifications
Mark all as read See all your notifications »
Q&A

Post History

50%
+0 −0
Q&A Little disjointed scenes

Does he have any friends there? One solution is to push the training camp into the background. The problem sounds like you don't have enough conflict, your scenes come up short. I'd focus on some...

posted 5y ago by Amadeus‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-19T22:13:38Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41367
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T10:37:00Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41367
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T10:37:00Z (over 4 years ago)
Does he have any friends there?

One solution is to push the training camp into the background. The problem sounds like you don't have enough conflict, your scenes come up short.

I'd focus on some relationships, perhaps a competitive one with friends, but you can have a conversation while these things are going on. Get some perspective on the character, create some conflict through competition, discussing the jerks in charge, screwing up, etc. Make a friend or two. Develop some character. Tell some life story.

In a way, we don't need to know that much about boot camp. Hooray, he learned to march and shoot. All that can be accomplished **while he's doing something else,** like building a friendship, writing home, helping other people get through it, screwing up and needing help, joking around, etc. The thread that ties the scenes together is a growing friendship, comraderie and comfort that most people develop when going through an ordeal together.

That can also help us see what he's good at, and what he's bad it. And how he handles winning, and handles losing.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-01-17T00:21:05Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 7