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Q&A Little disjointed scenes

Does he have any friends there? One solution is to push the training camp into the background. The problem sounds like you don't have enough conflict, your scenes come up short. I'd focus on some...

posted 6y ago by Amadeus‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-19T22:13:38Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41367
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T10:37:00Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41367
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T10:37:00Z (almost 5 years ago)
Does he have any friends there?

One solution is to push the training camp into the background. The problem sounds like you don't have enough conflict, your scenes come up short.

I'd focus on some relationships, perhaps a competitive one with friends, but you can have a conversation while these things are going on. Get some perspective on the character, create some conflict through competition, discussing the jerks in charge, screwing up, etc. Make a friend or two. Develop some character. Tell some life story.

In a way, we don't need to know that much about boot camp. Hooray, he learned to march and shoot. All that can be accomplished **while he's doing something else,** like building a friendship, writing home, helping other people get through it, screwing up and needing help, joking around, etc. The thread that ties the scenes together is a growing friendship, comraderie and comfort that most people develop when going through an ordeal together.

That can also help us see what he's good at, and what he's bad it. And how he handles winning, and handles losing.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-01-17T00:21:05Z (almost 6 years ago)
Original score: 7