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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41464
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41464
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

# Yes. Yes. And yes.

When I write, my rule of thumb is: if I start wondering whether something is too much, too off, or too something, it probably is.

The author is the mind and motor of the story, and they can tell the same story in a dark and gritty tone, as well as in a lighthearted and happy manner. If you have never tried, I'd recommend it as a great exercise. It is just like transposing a whole piece of music from major to minor. This being said, you reached a point where you find yourself wondering whether you have exaggerated in some dimensions of your story, perhaps in the dark tones, or in the comedic relief. The reason why you are wondering is that you have more or less consciously realized that exaggerating so much one dimension of reality without the rest of the frame to support it, has flattened your story to a one-dimensional sketch.

I wrote once half of a novel about a woman who embraces a sword to avenge her family. Two hundred pages later, when she was wading across a stream of blood, still wielding her weapon, fuming from the heat of the battle, I wondered whether that was too much. After all the story was about vengeance, and not an anatomy text-book on chopped meat.

In your example, I understand that you wish to convey the misery of your characters, and the hopelessness of their world. You could give a dry description of their background, as you mentioned in your summary. Or you could show the results of unnamed traumas. You could mention that not once have they been able to gather more than four hours of straight sleep without waking up amidst unspeakable nightmares. Or that they constantly look over their shoulders, as if someone should appear all of a sudden. Or that they don't like being touched. Or that the simple opening of doors can put them to shivers. Or that they are so light you can see the spine stick-out like a ridge between the shoulder-blades. Or that they are just made of bones so that when they fall, they sound like a handful of bamboo chopsticks bouncing and rolling on the floor. You can refer to the violence they received with broken words, and never fully describe it.

You ally in describing a grim and dark world is not your writing, but the imagination of your reader. Give them the right inputs, they will do the rest.

Original score: 4