Writing couples with age difference [closed]
Closed by System on Jan 28, 2019 at 20:35
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Basically, all I want to know is how I can get my readers to root for a pairing where the difference in ages is about 15 years. I don't want them to spend the entirety of my novel pondering over the 'wrongness' of such a pairing; the characters involved can best be described as anti-heroes so they'll doubtless be doing a whole lot of questionable things, both to other people and to each other.
Of course I'll steer clear of things such as outright emotional/physical/sexual abuse, but they're still not going to be good people. And there's the age factor to consider. I really want to get this point across to my readers, that they'll be perfect for one another and could work really well as a couple under different circumstances but I'm having trouble thinking I'll be able to do so with such a glaring age difference, especially considering that they're not really good people.
Any tips?
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2 answers
There is nothing wrong with such a pairing - unless one is fifteen.
A cousin of mine had been dating for years and finally found the one. He called me to tell me about her, but was initially embarrassed to mention her age. He finally told me - twenty year difference and they are a perfect match.
My parents had an eleven year age difference and it was thought nothing of.
Just write the characters and their relationship and forget about age differences. Why worry about it?
The only real issue might be that you seem to think it is wrong and that will color your depiction of it.
You say they are not good people. Please let it be more than he ‘robbed the cradle ‘ or she did. My characters do some very questionable things, but never do I assign them with the role of villain. I have characters say to each other that heroes and villains are not the stuff of life, that good people do bad things and bad people do good things. Shades of grey - sometimes getting rather dark, but no judgement of good or evil.
These are my characters and I am fond of them. I hope you are fond of that couple, despite the things you will do to them. Adversity often brings people together, forming unbreakable bonds.
You might come to love these two, watching them grow together as characters both individually and as a couple.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41543. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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This is not a problem; get over your own prejudices. I know people married for thirty years with a 13 year age gap, and with the woman older than the man. They started dating when he was 28, and she 41.
I don't see the problem; this is even more common with younger women and older men; there is plenty of scientific evidence that women are attracted to men with power and wealth, and men are attracted to women that are beautiful, young and fit.
In the reverse case above, the woman had been divorced a few years. I think she is beautiful, and funny, and she cracks him up. The man at 28 was a professional earning 10 times as much as her (a clerk when they met). So they are not professional colleagues, but I guess he wasn't looking for somebody to discuss his job with; and they are very compatible on the entertainments they enjoy (the shows they watch, travel, games and activities, etc) so I think they are good companions. They have no children, but I assume that was agreed upon when dating.
The only reason for age-matching in a couple is child-bearing; both older men and older women have a higher chance of producing a child with impairments. But there are plenty of people that don't want to raise children; especially those focused on a career with long hours that don't think they can both raise children and put in the hours to succeed professionally. An adult companion can understand that; a child cannot.
A younger woman might feel more secure with an older husband. A younger man might want to have somebody he enjoys having dinner with, or watching TV, that isn't a kid that knows less than him, that isn't going to pressure him to have kids, that still enjoys having sex, shares his political views, and makes his life less lonely and not a series of one-night stands. Having children isn't everything.
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