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Q&A Advice on how to beat word repetition in dialogue

(1) Don't use synonyms for said that describe tone or attitude. "said" is a word that disappears for readers, your worry about it is like self-consciousness: Only you care! Get over it, profession...

posted 5y ago by Amadeus‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-19T22:13:39Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41663
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T10:43:01Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41663
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T10:43:01Z (over 4 years ago)
(1) Don't use synonyms for said that describe tone or attitude. "said" is a word that disappears for readers, your worry about it is like self-consciousness: Only you care! Get over it, professionals use it constantly, just pick up any best-seller and look for yourself.

(2) Often, if there are only two people talking, attribution of dialogue is not needed. We know who is talking because conversation (usually) is A, B, A, B, etc. So you only need attribution when that breaks, or I tell students about every fourth or fifth sentence so the reader keeps track of who is who.

This is NOT true when there are three or more characters in a conversation, then you must tell the readers who is speaking, lest they get confused. However, see (3).

(3) Who is talking can be _implied_ by actions. To me this is always preferable, it is a better aid to the reader for them to imagine the scene.

> Alice frowned at her cards, then winced and laid down the Jack of Hearts.
> 
> Mary dropped the Two of Spades on it, grinning. "Eat that, bitch!"
> 
> Alice threw in her hand. "You're too lucky, let's play something else."
> 
> Mary laughed, and began gathering the cards. "Okay. Dice?"

(4) The primary cause of dialogue fatigue is **under-imagined** scenes. This is what causes walls of dialogue, just two or more disembodied talking heads. The author is too focused on conveying information or back-story through dialogue, and failing to fully imagine a scene with living people that see things, hear things, feel things, and think of new things in response to what they are hearing. Instead of people _interacting_ in conversation, they write dueling speeches, or one character repeatedly saying (effectively) "Go on." ... "And then?" ... "Mm Hm," ... and so on, so the first can deliver their speech.

That is unrealistic and boring. Authors should write **_longer_** drawn out scenes that are fully imagined, where people argue, and disagree, and get confused and take points the wrong way. Authors should provide the context and prose of the physicality of the scene, who is where, how they move around, what they are physically doing with objects in the scene, what they feel or think they do not reveal to their conversational partner, how they might be _deceiving_ the other.

(5) Find some best-sellers in the used book store. You don't have to read the whole thing, just flip through and find dialogue. See how the best-selling authors in the world actually do it.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-01-27T12:41:04Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 2