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First and foremost, a metaphor needs to be understood. When Shakespeare says "All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances", you are ...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-12T21:57:33Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41938 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T10:47:48Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/41938 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
First and foremost, **a metaphor needs to be understood**. When Shakespeare says "All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances", you are not left wondering a metaphor for _what_ the stage is - Shakespeare tells you. Your metaphors are all locks without a key - you do not tell the reader a metaphor for what each image is. One has no way to guess that by "rolling blades" you mean waves, for example. In fact, you do not even hint that you're speaking figuratively, except that the literal meaning doesn't make a lot of sense. (Assuming a sea monster made of knives is not part of the story.) You'd have to say "waves like rolling blades sunk the ship". Once you've addressed that issue, are the images good images? Are blades a good metaphor for waves? This question has already been asked here: [How to write a good metaphor?](https://writing.stackexchange.com/q/37578/14704)
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-02-04T23:59:12Z (almost 6 years ago)
Original score: 4