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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/43207
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/43207
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I'm going to make two points:

## **Don't be afraid to be more concise in your writing:**

There is a common misconception between us writers that we could sum up as: **_the audience is kind of dumb, and I need to spell things out for them_** (I'm exaggerating on purpose, but bear with me). This is, of course, a bad assumption to make; any audience is pretty capable of understanding what is happening in a given chapter without the author holding their hands all the way.

This is often related to the famous " **Show, don't tell**" imperative. Showing can be actually quite concise, but leaves a lot to the audience interpretation.

Starting a story can be hard, since you have to set up both characters and ambience in the very first chapters fast enough so the readers will keep on reading. Right enough, you worry that your character or your ambience may be misunderstood by the audience.

Why is this important for your question? Because in your list you've mentioned a lot of themes that don't need to be fully fleshed out in the very first chapter. I'm just gonna comment a few:

- _My main character ("MC") and their relationship with their guild_: This could be done in a scene: your MC can just talk to someone from the guild. From their behaviour, a lot of his position can be inferred. You don't need to dwell on the details; they can come up later on.
- _The video game that becomes a foundation for the "rules of the world"_: don't explain them all in one go. A lot of fantasy books have rules different from our own, yet it's boring to just spell them out.Introduce them slowly, when it's "natural" to do so in the story, and if you know they'll play a role later on.
- _A specific quest that plays a MAJOR role in the story at large:_ If it plays a major role, you'll need time to show all the facets of the quest. It's fine to introduce it now, but don't explain everything. Think about it: a lot of action books/movies have wars in it, or start at the beginning of a war. Yet to explain a war you'd need to explain ALL the socio-economical background of your world ... that's just to much to do at the start of your book. It can be done, of course, but you'd be sacrificing the plot to the worldbuilding, and that's not always advisable. Since the quest plays a major role in all the novel, you can give it more space and explain it with a wider breath on several chapters.
- _A specific "item" that plays a frequently recurring role in the story:_ As above.
- _A specific event that plays a critical part to the overall story:_ As above.

**Your audience doesn't need an instruction manual to read and enjoy your story**. Instruction manuals are boring by nature. Your audience will be fine if you drop them into the plot, explain just the key points, and let them figure out the rest as they go. Not only it will be more engaging (since the plot will start moving in earnest) but they will feel challenged to sort out anything that you haven't stated out loud yet.

## **Make less points, and focus on the important ones:**

Another thing that jumped to my eyes is that you're trying to make too many points in your prologue. Again, it's fine to set up something in the very first chapter (related question: [When is a prologue useful?](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/993/when-is-a-prologue-useful?rq=1)) but you don't have to set up _everything_.

It's fine if you decide that one of that points is a must-have. Maybe it's really important that make clear who your character is, how his family is like. That's ok. But you can't make a lot of **strong points** in the same chapter. Different authors do this different ways, sure. I personally (and that's subjective) don't do with more that a major event per chapter, with some lesser revelations on the sides.

However you want to do it, seven is too much.

Original score: 3