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This would be a great occasion for an extended simile. Take the action and characterize the important elements by comparison to natural events. E.g. The scattering of matter after the big bang, or ...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-18T21:34:24Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/44162 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T11:33:49Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/44162 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
This would be a great occasion for an extended simile. Take the action and characterize the important elements by comparison to natural events. E.g. The scattering of matter after the big bang, or the bouncing of pool balls, or even a can of soda, fizzing and foaming after a fall. For instance > As their knuckles touched, like rams crashing head on into one another [or other relevant smile], the hands opened wide, turning the muttons to butterflies, fluttering their wings to float away from each other.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-03-28T20:30:50Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 4