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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/44354
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/44354
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Personally, I think the _emotions_ of love and romance are _one thing_ and not gendered, that if we could discard the cultural baggage of what _other_ people and institutions expect of us and think about us, we would find a commonality in what it feels like to be sexually attracted, infatuated, fall in love.

Here are [11 scientific signs](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-11-scientific-signs-romance-relationships-attraction-a7944751.html) of a person falling in love that are not gender specific. That is not a comprehensive list but it is what I could find quickly; I have seen longer ones _backed by science._

This list is missing contact craving, the desire to be physically close and touching the person you love, which is why we see people in love sitting beside each other when across from each other would be much more convenient; and holding hands and walking with arms around each other despite this being less efficient than walking beside each other without being physically connected.

It is also missing a distorted sense of _symbolism_ in worrying about or obsessing on the _cosmic meaning_ of small gifts, or comments by your loved one.

Here are some good notes on [The differences between lust and love](https://ideas.ted.com/is-it-lust-or-is-it-love-how-to-tell-and-how-you-can-have-both-at-once/), which will help to inform your descriptions of love. The main difference? Lust is centered on physical aspects and imagining the sex itself. Love can _contain_ lust, but is centered on _connection_, the desire to meet their friends and family, to share secrets, hopes and dreams, your own and theirs, to share a future life, to join in and share an interest of your partner's and adapt yourself to fit in their world. If they love you, this will be reciprocal. If it is lust, they are not truly interested in what you think, feel and dream, except to the extent it is necessary to make use of your body.

So feel free to google your own symptoms or signs of love, and pick three or four you think can show in actions to illustrate this lesbian romance in terms that do not depend on gender, or on orientation.

The public activities of homosexuals (if not prohibited by culture) are not different from heterosexuals. Holding hands, hugs, kissing (contact cravings), loving eye contact, etc.

Actual sexual conduct doesn't have to be much different either; homosexuals seldom do anything to their partner that could not have been done by a person of opposite gender. The exception might be same-gender genital contact; but I don't see that as a necessity, even if you write explicit sex scenes.

I believe infatuation, sexual attraction, falling in love and being in love can be written without dealing with gender specifically; other than any cultural difficulties the lovers encounter. And whether they do have cultural barriers to overcome is up to you as the author.

Original score: 2