Post History
I'm writing a scene in which four characters play a high-stakes poker game. So far my narrator has been an omniscient third person, who just does not wish to enter into the characters' heads. I st...
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-18T21:34:24Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/44487 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T11:40:19Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/44487 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I'm writing a scene in which four characters play a high-stakes poker game. So far my narrator has been an omniscient third person, who just does not wish to enter into the characters' heads. I started going around the table. I have the fingers fumbling with the corners of the cards, the tapping of cigars on the greasy tablecloth and the occasional sip of liquor. I even added background crickets and the smell of freshly cut grass. Then I slowly uncovered the hand, and went on with the bidding. It feels gimmicky. Dull. Do I need to show the characters' thoughts in order to get some believable tension? Can it be done with a mere description? Is it the timing, or perhaps I'm not focusing on the right elements? In one question: how to slowly and credibly raise the tension using pure description (no dialogue) as a poker game unfolds on the table (two rounds at most)?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-04-08T22:39:56Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 16