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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/44574
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/44574
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

This is inspired by a few things that have been breaking my immersion when reading _[Worm](https://parahumans.wordpress.com)_.

The main protagonist is a teen, and most chapters are first-person POV, so grammatical casualness fits. I don't expect her to use subjunctive, and her use of "anyways" was (I thought) a great way to indicate that she was a high school sophomore.

But then authority figures ALSO used "anyways" in formal communication. No one uses subjunctive. There doesn't seem to be that slight code-switching tone difference with the "adults" when talking to each other at coffee vs sharing information in a meeting.

Is this just something to specifically proofread for, highlighting dialogue/thoughts by certain characters, and revising them all in a specific tone-swoop? **How do you learn what elements help change that tone?**

(I know if your character is a physicist, you have to look up enough physics to communicate the science effectively, but language use of a character pervades all their thoughts and dialogue, especially in workplace settings. One doesn't have to be an English major to have this code-switching behavior, or varying levels of formalism: mere exposure to higher-level readings (like academic journals) would have an effect.)

I don't intend to knock this author -- I've been reading his works for millions of words! And I know we're basically reading his first-drafts, due to his production choices. I just try to learn what catches my eye/ear as a reader, so I can change that in my own writing. (And yes, I have tone problems too -- often too casual for professional, but too formal for quick communications. And my writing is 100% middle-class white, so I know I'd need an editor of a different background to have better code-switching to show other types of family life, for example.)

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_Not a duplicate of [Writing the dialogues of characters who are much smarter than you](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/41877/writing-the-dialogues-of-characters-who-are-much-smarter-than-you) because that's about "pure" IQ, and my question is more about characters who would realistically have had more formal education than the author._

Original score: 11